test Jon Doe Interview

Jon Doe Interview


Can you remember your very 1st encounter of me, and elaborate on why you got the proper hump with me and Sunset Regime?

I actually thought you were Stu J as I saw the top of your head over a speaker as you came into the studio one day. Next thing I hear is GBT 17 with the acid line straight off a 303 you had borrowed from the studio. That’s when I first noticed you were not able to write music.

When we 1st started to work together 6 or 7 years ago, we hit it off instantly, my fondest memory of our early studio session’s on the tenth floor of that old EMI building over in Slough was shouting and throwing things at all the fork lift drivers and delivery men down bellow, what are your fondest memories of our early years?

Bop. Bopping people. For everybody else reading this... Travelling down the street, windows down, we pass somebody crossing the road right pass your side of the car 'BOP' shouts Billy. People jump out of their skin as we drive on. This is repeated several hundred times.

Why did you choose to no longer tour with me abroad, and what made you change your mind for the Australian tour in November?

I haven’t heard anything about that November tour; it just keeps getting put back. Touring abroad can sometimes be dangerous with you. (See Commander Tom below)

On a serious note, there is no denying that you are not bad at what you do, and when every one was doing that “oinky hard house” you was years ahead of the pack with ya hard trance sound … But, Warehouse was one seriously overrated tune and I went against my better judgement and released it, single of the month in every mag, on compilations all over the world, every dj I know played it, but it weren’t that good - Can you explain why I got 800 sent back, the first 32 bars loose time and why after all the hype it didn’t actually go down that well on the dance floors?

I didn’t think that much of warehouse either. You must have pressed up too many and as for being out of time that’s just your mixing.

Commander Tom?

So, we were at the airport, with our luggage coming towards the car. In front stands a 7 foot German (Commander Tom). Having sold many of his records in the record shop and played others out from the Noom label, this was an interesting guy to meet. Unfortunately he refused to speak and sat in a sulk in the front seat. Later that night, bad feeling continued as he had to share the same car with us again (the inferior English). Matters became worse as (despite the worst mixing ever from me) the crowd left his side of the party and came to ours (We played to 3000 him about 100). The next day was to put sulking to shame. We waited for 'Tom' in the car for around 20 minutes, Bunter bored in the front, playing with the stereo. Tom appears "You, out. Get in the back." He yelled at Bunter. After a pointless and short discussion, Bunter gets out, but Tom, determined to be angry decided to get in the back of the people wagon, punching the seats. Surprisingly Bunter remained reasonable...
"You see" said Bunter "Jon doe was looking fo.."
"Argg, turn around and shut up, turn your fat ugly English face away, I cannot bear it" (Think of the Radioactive man episode of the Simpsons where Radioactive man gets swept away by the acid 'My eyes, the goggles, they do nothing')
This was possibly the funniest thing ever, but also Tom had really lost it (Crack head). Andy Trek looked embarrassed, the promoter girl started to cry and her Mum (driving) was losing patience. After Bunter tried to speak again this sent Tom over the edge and Bunter got the hump with Tom and through him out of people carrier.
“I cannot believe this... you show no respect" screams Tom
"No, you have no respect"
Commander Tom threatened Bunter with 'You win the battle but not the war' and 'I know people in London and you have a fat ugly face”
Comedy Tom was left behind still somewhere in the Indian reserve where there were no taxis, Comedy Tom missed his plane back to Germany, and also managed to get him self barred from Canada. We went off discount shoe shopping!

Why wouldn’t you come in to the sex shows with me when we last went to Amsterdam?

I fear that Commander Tom will escape from the long answer in question 5 and continue the war, the wife wouldn't be too happy either.

Remember that time at the Sanctuary the guy from Hysteria tried to knock us for our back to back set, and I went behind the counter and picked his till up, and he tried to get them huge bouncers to stop me, but I explained to them that the guy was legendry for being dodge and that they better get their money sorted and they ended up telling the geezer to pay us … If it had gone the other way, and the door men would of kicked off, would you of waded in or f**ked off and left ya £500 behind?

Well, I don't think I will be taking on any doormen (although, last time I was involved in a scuffle was stopping a bouncer hitting somebody with a bottle, but I didn’t realise he was a bouncer, even weirder he kept thanking me). With long arms, I would have grabbed the money let you toddle off out the door and then run for it too.

You recently bought your self a World War 2 armoured truck “Humber Pig” what was your inspiration for this eccentric purchase?

I decided to do a project called 'Transmission to Mars' in which a video had an armoured truck in it. One of the ideas behind the project was not compromising anything, so this meant going all the way and buying one. Last week I took a branch off the pear tree in the drive with it by mistake, so it doubles up nicely as pruning sheers, all is not lost.

Did you enjoy me being best man at ya wedding, and was you ever worried that I would lose your ring, and really embarrass you at any point?

You being best man was pretty terrifying but luckily you didn’t do anything that you usually would which includes not messing up my ring (oo er).

This week we are playing back to back set’s in every room at Tasty, are you beginning to regret it? Are you concerned that I will leave you to do all the work while I get out of my nut? Or in your own eccentric way your are actually looking forward to it?

Well, you usually insist on playing all the obvious stuff, narrowing down the chance to do something interesting and also ruining my cred on bangingtunes.com. Jokes aside, I should be able to slip in some decent tunes and occasionally push the decks to keep you in time while you get off your head. Hopefully you will get so confused that you pay me, but not so confused that you cuddle the toilet.







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